I know that I am not "old" but every day I am getting older... and especially this year, I have heard the same thing from many of my friends. I have heard [these are not exact quotes, but this was the long and short of it...]
- "Sometimes I feel like I folded my hand too early, and I wonder how the game would have played out."
- "I have reached the point in my life that I thought I would be ___ (married, gainfully employed, a mom, etc!), but I haven't done it, and I'm not getting any younger. It's just hard"
- "Sometimes I just wonder what I am doing. I am ready to move forward with my life."
It always blows me away when I hear this from peole who are near and dear to me - because I wish I could make life better for them in some way. And there are things that I ponder... moments that I can relate to those conversations. I have had some moments of doubt when I thought to myself: "I left my husband, my dog, my family, and a good job... and moved halfway around the world. Have I lost my mind?!" But as a dear friend pointed out to me - my husband will follow, my dog is happy, my family will always miss me when I'm away (can't blame them), and my new job is cool! I am so grateful for the love and support that everyone has shown me so far.
So at the end of the day (or the early morning in this case... 12:30am), I am just grateful to know that I am satisfied. I am not wandering the world searching for something. I am not unsure of my future. But instead, I am chasing my own dreams. Even though I have no idea where I might be in 3 years, 5 years, 10 years... I know that I am doing what is right for me. Whatever the challenges, the lessons learned, the life experiences, I am doing something that makes me feel alive. Every day, I feel like I am really living :) And there aren't really words for that - a blog just doesn't cover it. I don't question my life, but instead I am able to push forward and take it all in one moment at a time. I just wish I could share my satisfaction with the people I love.
Miss you all!