I know that I am not "old" but every day I am getting older... and especially this year, I have heard the same thing from many of my friends. I have heard [these are not exact quotes, but this was the long and short of it...]
- "Sometimes I feel like I folded my hand too early, and I wonder how the game would have played out."
- "I have reached the point in my life that I thought I would be ___ (married, gainfully employed, a mom, etc!), but I haven't done it, and I'm not getting any younger. It's just hard"
- "Sometimes I just wonder what I am doing. I am ready to move forward with my life."
It always blows me away when I hear this from peole who are near and dear to me - because I wish I could make life better for them in some way. And there are things that I ponder... moments that I can relate to those conversations. I have had some moments of doubt when I thought to myself: "I left my husband, my dog, my family, and a good job... and moved halfway around the world. Have I lost my mind?!" But as a dear friend pointed out to me - my husband will follow, my dog is happy, my family will always miss me when I'm away (can't blame them), and my new job is cool! I am so grateful for the love and support that everyone has shown me so far.
So at the end of the day (or the early morning in this case... 12:30am), I am just grateful to know that I am satisfied. I am not wandering the world searching for something. I am not unsure of my future. But instead, I am chasing my own dreams. Even though I have no idea where I might be in 3 years, 5 years, 10 years... I know that I am doing what is right for me. Whatever the challenges, the lessons learned, the life experiences, I am doing something that makes me feel alive. Every day, I feel like I am really living :) And there aren't really words for that - a blog just doesn't cover it. I don't question my life, but instead I am able to push forward and take it all in one moment at a time. I just wish I could share my satisfaction with the people I love.
Miss you all!
What a great post. Remember, you'll never regret doing living in Taipei, but you might have regretted not doing it. And while it's nice to have some direction in life, sometimes you just need to dive in and let yourself be flotsam and see where you end up.
ReplyDeletePlans are good to have, but if you stake your happiness on an arbitrary schedule, you're setting yourself up for failure. So go, Lizzie! Who knows where you'll end up next?
Thanks Alex - I agree. There is just something so satisfying about knowing that I am not questioning my life, wondering if this is where I should be... instead, I just get to enjoy it one day at a time. :)
ReplyDeleteTo thine own self be true. It makes looking in the mirror each day much easier. Yes, I miss you. And for good reason. But I love you enough to let you spread those wings. And I am proud of you!!!
ReplyDelete